Quote 1

" 'Mia Maid girls and teachers ... have many activities of a social nature planned for them, both in their school and Church programs, which they should enjoy in groups. They should avoid boy-girl single-dating relationships' " ("Policies and Procedures," New Era, Jan. 1971, p. 30).

Quote 2

President Spencer W. Kimball gave the youth of the Church the following advice:

"My beloved young people, you should be serious-minded. Life is not wholly for fun and frolic. It is a most serious business. You will do well to grow up as children, associating with both girls and boys for those first years. When you get in the teenage years, your social associations should still be general acquaintance with both boys and girls. Any dating or pairing off in social contacts should be postponed until at least the age of 16 or older, and even then there should be much judgment used in selections and in the seriousness.

"Young people should still limit the close contacts for several years, since the boy will be going on his mission when he is 19 years old. There should be limited contacts and certainly no approach to the intimate relationships involving sex. There must never be any sex of any kind prior to marriage" ("Marriage-The Proper Way," New Era, Feb. 1976, p. 5).

Quote 2 Continued

"Every boy should have been saving money for his mission and be free from any and all entanglements so he will be worthy. When he is returned from his mission ... , he should feel free to begin to get acquainted and to date. When he has found the right young woman, there should be a proper temple marriage. One can have all the blessings if he is in control and takes the experiences in proper turn: first some limited, social, get-acquainted contacts, then his mission, then his courting, then his temple marriage and his schooling and his family, then his life's work. In any other sequence he could run into difficulty" (Spencer W. Kimball, "Marriage-The Proper Way," p. 5).

Quote 3

" 'I see the pre-dating years as a time when the "becoming process" blossoms. Girls should have equal satisfaction in the "becoming process" as they have in arriving at a goal.' ... [The pre-dating years are a time] when the girl prepares for group activities, for having fun, for maturing, for developing. ...

" 'Waiting is a waste. ... There are so many things for girls to do instead of just waiting [to turn sixteen to date]. Girls can reach out, recognize where they are now and enjoy today instead of just waiting for tomorrow to happen' " (Ruth H. Funk, quoted by Gerry Avant, "Pre-dating Years: A Vital Season," Church News, 3 Dec. 1977, p. 9).

Quote 4

" 'There are many wonderful things a girl can be doing other than waiting for a date, like just learning to enjoy people and developing friends, which can be exciting if the girl will let it be that way.

" 'A girl who has many friends seems to be the one who will attract even more. As she enlarges her circle of friends, others will be drawn in. While she may not be dating, she'll be sharing experiences, building memories and having fun.

" 'If a girl becomes anxious at times, or impatient about waiting to date, she should remember to talk with her Heavenly Father about the matter.'

"... The preparation years, which are vitally needed, should not be too soon interrupted by early dating. 'A girl should handle this time of her life carefully, waiting for the proper season so that when her associations do bring her into a dating pattern then she is prepared to recognize the qualities that she wants to emulate. ...

" 'The pre-dating years, if used properly, can give a girl experiences that will help her develop characteristics that will allow her to be a powerful, positive influence upon others.'

"... Without the required time of preparation a girl's associations can be very shallow. 'Without the preparation time, a girl will be ill-prepared for the responsibilities that go with dating and strengthening others as well as herself' " (Ardeth G. Kapp, quoted by Avant, Church News, 3 Dec. 1977, pp. 9, 14).

Quote 5

"The urge for group activity is normal to the younger set, when they are not prematurely and immaturely stimulated in other ways, and the recreational and social activities of the crowd can be wholesome and entertaining. Physical and moral safety is increased in the multiplicity of friends. Group homemade recreation activities can be not only great fun but most beneficial."

Quote 5 Continued

"Firesides may create friendships, and inspire the spirit and train the mind. Group picnics can discipline youth in gentle manners and fellowship and extend circles of intimate friends.

"Sports can develop the body in strength and endurance. They can train the spirit to meet difficulties and defeats and successes, teach selflessness and understanding, and develop good sportsmanship and tolerance in participant and spectator. Drama can develop talent, teach patience, and foster fellowship and friendliness. Group music activities have similar effects, and also can soften and mellow the spirit and satisfy the aesthetic needs. ...

"Well-ordered dances provide favorable places, pleasing times and auspicious circumstances in which to meet new people and to enlarge circles of friends. They can be an open door to happiness. In an evening of pleasurable dancing and conversation, one can become acquainted with many splendid young folk, every one of whom has admirable traits and may be superior to any one companion in at least some qualities. Here partners can begin to appraise and evaluate, noting qualities, attainments and superiorities by comparison and contrast. Such perceptive friendships can be the basis for wise, selective, occasional dating for those of sufficient age and maturity, this to be followed later in proper timing by steady dating, and later by proper courtship which culminates in a happy, never-ending marriage" (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969], pp. 221-22).

Quote 6

Reread the last of President Spencer W. Kimball's statement: "One can have all the blessings if he is in control and takes the experiences in proper turn: first some limited, social, get-acquainted contacts, then his mission, then his courting, then his temple marriage and his schooling and his family, then his life's work. In any other sequence he could run into difficulty" ("Marriage-The Proper Way" New Era, Feb. 1976, p. 5).

Submitted by: Jan Lyman JanLyman@netscape.net

I want to share a cute idea our Mia Maid advisor did for lesson 31. She started out by giving each a jawbreaker and said please do not eat these during the lesson. She gave several quotes from the lesson. She made a homemade video of several of the boys in our ward plus two of her nephews, that are of dating age. She asked them several questions about dating.

Questions like Do you like for girls to call you on the phone? What do you think about girls that use profanity? What was one of your favorite group dates? Would you rather go on a group date or single date? The boys had all the right answers. The girls really liked to hear what the boys thought about dating. After the lesson was over she brought out another bag which had chocolate bars in it, she told the girls who ever still had their first candy could trade it in for a bigger candy. And said if you follow the prophets advice about dating you will have better choices in the end.