| Written by: Vickie hsman@iapdatacom.net
Phil and Ned's Excellent Adventure
Characters- Phil, Ned, Seminary teacher, seminary class, Mary Loofus, Nephi, Nephi's
wife, Lamen, Lemuel, Captain Moroni, Samuel the Lamanite
NOTE- To understand what this is all about and to understand what Phil and Ned are all
about and how they are supposed to act, you need to rent the movie Bill and Ted's
Excellent Adventure. A silly, but harmless movie made in the 80s starring Keanu Reeves.
They are the way we portrayed Phil and Ned.
Scene 1- Seminary Class
Teacher: ok class, your reports on your favorite Book of Mormon characters is due
tomorrow. Remember, this will be a big part of your grade. (groans from the class) Class
ends. Phil and Ned go up to teacher.
Phil: Sister Seminary teacher, my friend Ned and I want to thank you for a most inspiring
year in Seminary
Ned: Yes, it was most enlightening to our minds. We learned many great and bodacious
things.
Teacher: Right. I seem to remember on your last test you said wicked King Noah was
"The ark dude with an attitude." (Phil and Ned look at each other goofy and nod)
And if I recall right, you also said the one thing you learned about the Book of Mormon is
that people couldn't wear shorts. Where in the world did you get that?
(Phil and Ned look at each other goofy and scratch head and then remember) Both: You know
the Anti- Knee hi- Levis!
Teacher: Boys, you are both failing Seminary. Unless your report on your Book of Mormon
Heroes is really something special, I can't give you credit for the year! You two need to
learn that the Book of Mormon is written to you. It is for our day. (teacher leaves)
Ned: Bogus dude!
Phil: Indeed it is my friend. If I fail seminary, it will be a most heinous situation.
I will be grounded from every Sup-R-Saturday, which means I will be grounded from-
Both: Babes!
Ned: But this book, dude (holds up Book of Mormon) I mean how can it be for us? It is a
historical report of epic proportion. I just don't get it.
Song: Tune of Popcorn (sung by Phil and Ned)
I look through the pages and I can't see
How the Book of Mormon can be written for me.
These things happened very long ago
How they can relate to me I just don't know
I could read for hours everyday
And still not know what they're try'in to say
They say that it is so-but I cannot see
How the Book of Mormon can be written for me!
(lights flash piano makes weird music, girl appears)
Phil: whoa! Who are you?
Mary: (she talks really fast and is like a valley type girl or blonde. sorry:-) ) I am
Mary Loofus, daughter of Rufus. I've come from the future to take you to the past so you
can learn and do well in the present so you can be leaders in the future! Does my hair
look alright?
(Phil and Ned look at each other, very confused, then smile)
Ned: Pleased to meet you Miss Loofus Rufus!
Mary: I can't stay long. (Hands them a phone) Here's the plan. Just dial 1-800-Mormons.
The rest will just happen. And boys please, listen and learn!
Phil: But Miss Mary Loofus Rufus, we.
Mary: Guys, remember- No Sup-R-Saturdays! (Mary leaves)
P&N: Bogus! (look at phone)
Ned: Phil my friend, I think we are about to embark on an excellent adventure. *Dials
phone.
Lights go crazy; Phil and Ned are yelling "Whoaaaaaaaa"
Scene 2: Nephi sitting down looking at broken bow
Phil: Ned look! (They look at Nephi then at Book of Mormon) young, Large of stature,
broken bow.(walk up to Nephi) Excuse me oh large one, but what kind of parents do you
have?
Nephi: Why, I was born of goodly parents.
Ned: It's him! It's Nephi! (they pronounce it nehfee)
Nephi: That would be Nephi.
Phil: I am Phil, and this is my friend Ned. We are from the future. Hey, what's the
problem?
Nephi: It came to pass that I have broken my bow and cannot obtain food for my family.
Without food we shall perish in the wilderness.
Nephi: Tell me friends, in the future is there contention in the land?
Ned: Yes oh large one. We also have a great and spacious building. It is called a high
school.
Phil: It is hard to do what's right. We are mocked and laughed at. It is most heinous.
Ned: We also must contend with alcohol, drugs, pornography, and of course. (Both) BABES!
Nephi: (confused) How could tiny babies cause contention?
Lamen and Lemuel walk by. Lamen: Get us food brother! Lemuel: Or else!
Nephi: So things haven't changed that much. You see, we have the same problems only in
different ways. Young friends we need to stay strong, to choose the right path. There will
be obstacles, but we can make it! (Pulls at bow) Good as new!
(Nephi's wife walks by) Nephi, I'm soooo hungry!
Nephi: (holds up bow) Dinner's almost ready!
Phil and Ned: Wow Nephi. She's a babe!
Nephi: But she is one score and 7. you must have very large babies in the future
Phil and Ned look at each other confused, then smile.
SONG: Sung by Phil and Ned: 3rd verse of Nephi's Courage
The Lord gives us commandments and asks us to obey
Sometimes I am tempted to choose another way
When I'm discouraged and think I cannot try
I'll remember Nephi-and I will reply
I will go I will do-the things the Lord commands
I know the Lord provides a way he wants me to obey
repeat
While this song is being sung Nephi really gets into it and dances
Phil: Dinner's gonna be late Nephi-you're coming with us! Ned-dial that phone! (lights
flash everyone yells)
Scene 3. Captain Moroni is pacing back and forth
Moroni: For our.. honor. no no. For our liberty. No. (sees Phil and Ned and
Nephi)
Moroni: (runs up to them) A plate. I need a brass plate! (They look around) Moroni:
Oh forget it! (Rips off his shirt and starts writing on it)
Moroni: I've got it! In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom and our peace, our
wives and our children. (looks out at audience) read Alma 46!
Ned: Wait a minute. It's the guy who ripped his shirt and wrote on it. It's
Captain Moroni and the Statue of Liberty!
Moroni: That's TITLE of Liberty! (looks confused) Who are you?
Phil: Your Captainship, I am Phil and this is Ned. We are Seminary students from the
future. We have read about you.
Moroni: From the future? Tell me- what do you stand for?
(Phil and Ned look at each other confused and then smile)
Ned: We always stand up for the pledge of allegiance!
Phil: And the Star Spangled Banner at Basketball games. a most bodacious game played by
large men in the future.
Ned: And at that last concert we went to-those guys were most awesome so we stood up and
cheered!
Moroni: No no that's not what I mean! (Holds up Title of Liberty) This is what I stand
for- I would give my life to protect these things. they mean that much to me! Everyone
needs a cause- to believe and love something so much that you would protect it with your
life. That is what fighting for truth and righteousness is really about. This Title of
Liberty was written for you!
Phil and Ted: Us? No way, dude!
Moroni: Yes way, Phil and Ted. To show you that your time is no different from mine.
The ways of the world are hard. It is important that you stand up for what is right- even
if it's not the popular thing to do. I appoint you Phil and Ned-Chief Captains and
defenders of Truth and Righteousness in the latter days.
Phil and Ned: Your Captainship, we salute you! (Phil and Ned salute)
SONG; TUNE OF STAND UP (From the Children's songbook..sung by Phil and Ned) (As they
sing, Nephi does another kind of dance. maybe the Electric slide)
We will stand up for all that is right
Defend the truth with all of our might
Like Captain Moroni we'll take a stand
To do what's right and follow the plan
We'll raise our own Title of Liberty
And be examples for all to see!
Phil: Sorry your captainship, but your cause will have to be put on hold. Ned, Grab that
Title! Nephi, dial that phone! (lights flash, noise, yelling)
SCENE 4 (Samuel the Lamanite standing on a wall-people are yelling and throwing things at
him.
Samuel: (dodging stuff) Repent! Repent I say! Repent or you will fall! The hour is at
hand
Ned- (looking at Book of Mormon) Big wall...preaching to Nephites. Hey it's Sam.Sam.
Samuel: (jumping down) Sam I am! Better known in these parts as Samuel the Lamanite.
Phil: Greetings Mr. The Lamanite! I am Chief Captain Phil and this is my partner Ned.
We have journeyed long to see you.
Sam: (brushing off things thrown at him) Well forgive me for not looking my best. It can
get a little messy up there.
Ned: I don't get it Sam. I mean, face it dude, you're lucky that most of those people
are a terrible aim. You could be killed up there, which would be most bogus.
Phil: Ted is right-why do you stay up there when it's so dangerous?
Samuel: I stay because the gospel is true! I stay
because the Savior is real. Whether
these people listen or not-my conscience is clear. I have not given up. With my last
breath I will share the truth. Tell me Phil and Ned, in your day-are you mocked for your
beliefs? Are swords and stones thrown at you?
Ted: We are mocked Sam, but not with stones or swords. There are other weapons in the
future being laughed at, made fun of and not included.
Samuel: Then you see-the writings in this book are for you. It is the same-mockery of
the truth. Phil and Ned-never be ashamed of the Gospel-a far greater reward is in store
for you.
Phil and Ned: Excellent! Thank you Mr. The Lamanite!
SONG: TUNE OF HINGES (from Children's songbook) sung by Phil and Ned. Nephi does another
dance
Like Samuel the Lamanite we will prepare
We'll stand on our own wall the Gospel we'll share
We won't be ashamed if they mock or make fun
Yes we'll keep on trying to reach everyone!
Phil: You need a break Sam-you're coming with us! Captain-dial that phone!
(lights noise yelling)
SCENE 5: (Seminary room. class is there doing
reports) (Nephi, Moroni, & Samuel are
offstage)
Ned: We're back in seminary!
Both: Excellent!
Teacher: Boys, you're late and your entrance was rather noisy! I hope you have your
report ready. It's your turn.
(Phil and Ned come to the front)
Phil: Sister Seminary teacher; fellow students, my partner Ned and I had not learned a
lot in this class.
Ned: Up till now we felt the Book of Mormon was nothing more than a history book.
Phil: But we have been on a most excellent adventure.
Ned: We have met some most excellent people.
Phil: Who have taught us many excellent things.
Ned: So without further fanfare seminary class Phil and Ned present to you.
Both: NEPHI!!! (Nephi comes out class cheers)
Ned: Nephi- who walked hundreds of miles, lived in the wilderness, built a boat, and put
up with two totally bogus brothers.
Phil: The prophet Nephi taught us that when the going gets tough, the tough keep going.
He showed us that keeping the commandments is hard in any time, and doing what the Lord
wants isn't always popular, but it is always the right choice. No matter what happened,
Nephi always had faith in the Lord.
Ned: Besides being very strong and having a total babe for a wife, we learned that Nephi
is a great dancer and is looking forward to attending Super Saturday with us tomorrow
night.
Phil: And now. my partner Ned and I present to you. the great, the totally courageous, the
most excellent.
Both: CAPTAIN MORONI! (Moroni comes out; crowd cheers)
Ned: Captain Moroni, who loved the Lord, his family, and his freedom so much, he wrote
the Title of Liberty, and led his army to defend it with their lives.
Phil: This great prophet has taught us to have a righteous cause and to take a stand to
defend that cause, no matter what.
Ned: The great Moroni enjoys working out and would love to buy a new shirt and take in a
John Wayne movie while he is here.
Phil: And last but certainly not least..may we introduce you to
Both: SAMUEL THE LAMANITE! (Samuel comes out; crowd cheers)
Ned: The great Samuel the Lamanite who preached in vain to the wicked Nephites.
Phil: Samuel taught us to never give up-to always stand up for what we believe, and to
keep our testimonies strong.
Ned: For his short visit to the future, Mr. The Lamanite would love to challenge the
class to a game of dodge ball!
Phil: And now to give words of wisdom to our Seminary class. let us hear from the great
Captain Moroni!
Moroni: Fellow students, my good friends Phil and Ned have had a mighty change of heart.
They now know and you must too, that the Book of Mormon was written for your day! The
things that my brothers and I have experienced. the joys, the sorrows, the triumphs, the
falls, were all kept in sacred records by us so that you could learn and benefit. Our
testimonies of Christ can strengthen yours. We speak to you from the dust. read, listen
and learn from us. And now I will share something that we have learned from our friends-
Phil and Ned. Advice that is good for our day and yours.. Be excellent to each other. and
have fun, dudes!!!! (Class cheers, Phil, Ned Nephi, Moroni, and Samuel hug give high
fives teacher gives a big A+ to Phil and Ned)
Phil: Ted my friend.
Ted: Yes, Phil my friend?
Phil: This has been a most excellent adventure!
SONG: Tune of Popcorn. (Sung by all)
I look through the pages and now I see
That the Book of Mormon was written for me
The things that happened very long ago
Can build my testimony and help me to grow
I will read and study everyday
To understand what the prophets say
It speaks from the dust- and it's easy to see
This great Book of Mormon was written for me!
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