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Written by Alice Gifford - The YW Connection (8/23/1999)
How honest are you? Do you tell
"little white lies" ? Do you stand up in a crowd or do you remain silent
- as if you agree.
When I was a freshman in high school I was invited to go to an out of
town game by a senior. I wanted to go so much that I told him I could
even though I knew my mother would never approve. I went home and asked
my mother if I could go to the game, told her I would be riding on the
school bus with friends, and she agreed to let me go. I started getting
worried that she would find out that my "friends" was just "one boy". I
asked my best friend to lie for me if my mom asked any questions. I was
so positive I could count on her. Little did I know that I COULD. She
started feeling so guilty, even though my mother hadn't asked her any
questions, that she called my mother and told her what my plans really
were. I was so mad at her! I was grounded. The trust my mother had in me
lessened and I had to tell this young man I couldn't go after all. When
he asked why, I didn't want to tell him the truth - that I wasn't old
enough to date - so I lied
again. (What a bad girl I was!!!!)
I look back at this incident now and realize that my friend truly was a
good friend. Had she made it easy for me to lie to my mother this time -
what would I have done the next time I was invited to do something?
One of my all time favorite books, as I'm sure it is for many is , "Les
Miserables". At one point in the story Jean Valjean has become a very
successful and wealthy man. He is still "running from the law" and one
day discovers that the man who has been hunting him has been told that
the true "Jean Valjean" has been discovered in another city and there
are witnesses who will testify that this man is in fact "Jean Valjean"
even though he denies it. Jean Valjean knows that this man is innocent
of the crime he is being charged with. He also asks himself if it would
really hurt this man to go to jail. He has no family, he has no home -
he's a drifter. Jean Valjean on the other hand has people who are
counting on him. He says, "If I come forward, I am condemned. If I stay
silent, I am damned". Jean Valjean goes to the town where the trial is
being held and waits to see if this man will be convicted. When he
realizes he will be - Jean Valjean
comes forward and tells them they have the wrong man and proves it. He
not only saves the life of this man - a life in prison for something he
didn't do, but he also saves himself - his integrity.
Elder Cook said, "I'm always amazed at how the punishments that the Lord
has for disobedience to his laws seem to be built right into the laws
themselves. If we are dishonest, we will pay the penalty sooner or
later. The guilt that is associated with disobedience is often
sufficient to bring about repentance. Isn't this true? Have you ever
cheated on a test - and felt good about it? Have you ever lied and felt
at peace? It is impossible!
My son's class has been promised a movie party at the end of the week
for all of the students who do their homework and return it the next
day. This morning as he was getting ready for school he panicked because
he hadn't worked on one part of his homework. He asked me if he what he
should tell his teacher. I told him to tell him the truth. Then he said,
"But I won't get to go to the party!" He has been looking forward to
this party for the past week. I knew this was a tough one for him so I
just asked him, "Will you feel good about watching the movie if you know
you really didn't earn it?" He didn't say anything but while I finished
getting ready to take him to school, he'd sat down and worked on the
problem and finished it. He then asked on the way to school if it was
alright to tell his teacher that he'd completed his homework and I say
of course. You finished it before school and you can turn it in on time.
He was all smiles when he left the car.
Are you true to yourself? Judy Garland said, "Always be a first-rate
version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
(Taken from 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens) Did you ever follow the
crowd because it was the popular thing to do even though you may not
have felt right about it? I remember the night of my high school
graduation - there were parties going on all over the place. There was
one group that I really thought I wanted to be with but I didn't feel
great about what they were doing so I didn't. I was feeling very left
out and almost wishing that I'd gone with them but I knew I didn't want
anyone to think I'd been drinking the night of graduation. As it turned
out, another group of friends called my house to see if I'd gone and
when they discovered I hadn't, they invited me to go with them. We had
the greatest time and the next day I had no regrets! In fact, I've had a
life time of no regrets for that evening. That night -I was true to
myself.
Another great story also comes from Steven Covey's book "7 Habits of
Highly Effective Teens" is about a boy who charges $3.00 for each test
he helps students pass. After awhile the money didn't seem all that
great and he started wondering how he was really helping them and how it
was affecting him.
Do you know people who just don't seem real? You always feel just a
little uncomfortable around them. They are always so nice to you, but
they are also always talking bad about someone else.. usually someone
that they are "friends" with. Do you ever wonder what they are saying
about you when you are not there? We called these people two-faced.
There are all types of dishonesty - flattery, not telling the "whole"
truth, lying to protect yourself, lying to protect someone else. Not
being honest about what time you came home last night? (I set the alarm
clock - if my oldest son came home on time - great - he could just turn
it off. If the alarm went off - I'd be waiting up °Ü° and not very happy
:)
I don't know who said this but I've always liked it . "You can't do
wrong and feel right"
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